Personal
Healthy love has allowed me to create my most meaningful art. It’s allowed a safe space so that I can let all parts of me leave and then come back anew.
My home life is pretty ordinary and safe. The idea of that used to bore and scare me. It’s most likely because I was so used to the explosions and everyday turbulence of love before.
My art pulls me apart and love reals me in.
I hope to teach my daughter that the greatest love in life isn’t romantic love, but rather love with oneself.
Read MoreIt came full circle last week. Maeve came to a show that was featuring one of my pieces. She had never been to a gallery show I was in. I will never forget the feeling I had when her and Matt walked through the door of the building and she saw me. She wrapped her arms around me and was so excited. She had me show her the art and then, lastly, we turned the corner and I said, “Do you remember seeing this in our house? This is the art piece.” She smiled and even gave me a kiss.
She was proud of me.
I was proud of me.
I’m crying writing this and thinking about that moment.
I used to do this for me. I still do this for me. But, now I have her watching. I have a responsibility to show her that we have the chance to find a way to serve others while serving ourselves. That mommy follows her dreams every day and she can do the same.
I thought my daughter would be the death of my business, but instead, she grew it in ways I’ll never be able to quantify.
Read MoreI’ve never understood why we don’t celebrate the mothers on their child’s birthday.
We are constantly being reborn.
We are teaching ourselves something new and it’s our first time, just as it is our child’s.
Yesterday was spent celebrating our child, Maeve. This little being is the most special human I’ve ever met (yes, I know, every parents says this). But, she spreads joy everywhere she goes. Strangers can’t help but smile and talk to her.
It was bittersweet. I love watching her grow and become her own self, but damn it’s hard. Knowing that we will never be in this stage with her again hurts.
I haven’t been big on birthdays since I’ve been an adult. So much of the magic has faded and a lot of it feels like I’m just going through the motions.
Read MoreI talk a lot about my journey into boudoir.
How it started from a place of darkness and loneliness in my own life. A place of feeling invisible.
Photographing women, giving them a chance to feel seen and have a holistic experience, tricked my brain into thinking that I could give that back to myself. And, it worked.
It gave me the strength to make the changes I needed in my life to get to a place of wholeness and growth. Their bravery was a domino effect and mine soon followed. Okay, maybe a couple of years later, but it still followed and I know that these women had a lot to do with it. How could they not? By creating art with them, our stories were intertwined. I couldn’t tell my story without them and vise versa.
This leads me to my feelings on art being inherently selfish.
Read MoreI was asked to guest-host one of my favorite podcasts, The Motherhood Anthology. This is a group I hold close to my heart and one that I have mentored in numerous times. Kim, the owner, is an amazing human as well as a talented artist. She is someone I’ve grown to love over the years, so when she asked if I would not only be a mentor, but also guest-host her podcast, I jumped at the chance.
I chose Sean Low for this episode. He’s someone that I’ve looked to for inspiration for the last few years.
I talk about Sean often to those I mentor. He is the one that inspired me to create my process, with clients, around building trust and tension. You can read about that here.
I can sum Sean up in one of his own quotes: “A creative business is when you get paid to get lost.” This is the way he sees the world and why I believe every artist, who truly wants to make a living while creating, should listen to him.
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