fine art boudoir
Healthy love has allowed me to create my most meaningful art. It’s allowed a safe space so that I can let all parts of me leave and then come back anew.
My home life is pretty ordinary and safe. The idea of that used to bore and scare me. It’s most likely because I was so used to the explosions and everyday turbulence of love before.
My art pulls me apart and love reals me in.
I hope to teach my daughter that the greatest love in life isn’t romantic love, but rather love with oneself.
Read MoreIt came full circle last week. Maeve came to a show that was featuring one of my pieces. She had never been to a gallery show I was in. I will never forget the feeling I had when her and Matt walked through the door of the building and she saw me. She wrapped her arms around me and was so excited. She had me show her the art and then, lastly, we turned the corner and I said, “Do you remember seeing this in our house? This is the art piece.” She smiled and even gave me a kiss.
She was proud of me.
I was proud of me.
I’m crying writing this and thinking about that moment.
I used to do this for me. I still do this for me. But, now I have her watching. I have a responsibility to show her that we have the chance to find a way to serve others while serving ourselves. That mommy follows her dreams every day and she can do the same.
I thought my daughter would be the death of my business, but instead, she grew it in ways I’ll never be able to quantify.
Read MoreI talk a lot about my journey into boudoir.
How it started from a place of darkness and loneliness in my own life. A place of feeling invisible.
Photographing women, giving them a chance to feel seen and have a holistic experience, tricked my brain into thinking that I could give that back to myself. And, it worked.
It gave me the strength to make the changes I needed in my life to get to a place of wholeness and growth. Their bravery was a domino effect and mine soon followed. Okay, maybe a couple of years later, but it still followed and I know that these women had a lot to do with it. How could they not? By creating art with them, our stories were intertwined. I couldn’t tell my story without them and vise versa.
This leads me to my feelings on art being inherently selfish.
Read More“My photographs are on our bedroom wall, so I have seen them countless times since they have been hung, but every time I look at the pictures, I am still in awe that it is really me in them. I feel beautiful and sexy looking at them, but ironically, it is actually more of a daily reminder to myself to look internally as much as externally. When I look internally, these photographs make me feel empowered and I remind myself that I am capable, that I can do things outside of my comfort zone, and that I can have self- acceptance and self-compassion, because despite all my imperfections (as a wife, mother, and just person) - I am enough.”
Read MoreMy favorite part of what he wrote was, “Being creative begins with noticing what others have overlooked.”
When I became a mother I felt incredibly overlooked and isolated. My entire pregnancy was spent being fawned over, making sure I was okay, doctors checking on me, etc. After I had my daughter it was no longer about my health, my needs, my wants, or my mental health. Even women who aren’t mothers are often overlooked and the ones who take care of everyone else in their lives.
My promise with each woman I photograph is that I’m going to bring them into the light. There is no more hiding. There is no more telling yourself that your family comes first and you’ll stay in the shadows.
Is it uncomfortable? ABSOLUTELY!
Is it necessary for growth? YES!
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