Personal
“The most courageous act in a world that is cruel and numb is to feel the pain and still choose to live with your heart wide open.” - James McCrae
How?
How do we see the ugly in the world around us and choose to create beauty?
How do we spread our art, knowing the very privilege it is to have the freedom to make it?
Read MoreWhat I was telling myself is, “I’m not worthy”.
I spend so much of my life helping others feel worthy and yet, it feels impossible to give that to myself.
I’ve missed out on networking events, time with friends and family, and celebrations because of how I look.
Read MoreI've been fighting motherhood since Maeve was born. I have a hard time letting go of control. There is something so hard about surrendering your thought of how parenthood "would" be.
But, the other side has been incredibly beautiful.
It's not Maeve's responsibility to inspire my growth, but she has just by her sheer existence. I'm facing hard truths about myself and areas I need to stretch and improve upon. This is the work I should have been putting in long before I had a child, simply to become a better person. But, I wasn't. She pushes me to see my areas of weakness and make them into the strongest parts of me.
I never realized how resilient I can be until the process of becoming pregnant and everything that has followed.
She's also made me the best version of an artist to date. I've always served mothers, but now it goes much deeper. The way I can empathize and strive to give them an experience that will mean more as the years go by. This time in our lives is all about survival and my mission is to give mothers a few moments of breath...a few moments of letting go of control and expectations.
"I feel there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people: - Van Gogh
When there were villages was postpartum depression as prevalent? We feel we have to preface every complaint with, “I love my child, BUT…” It’s out of fear of judgement, or hell, fear of saying how hard this is out loud and admitting that we don’t know how or when it will get better. We weren’t designed to live this way. Maeve was designed to have many sisters and brothers, in a village. My husband and I were designed to have others around us who told the same stories and helped us look after our little love. I don’t know the solution, but I write all of this because I don’t know where else to put it at times. I write all of this because I know we could fill so many villages full of people who are out there, crying, because they don’t have a village.
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